I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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