Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
