My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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