A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Everything about him screamed your future.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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