Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
