Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
