A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
