Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
