I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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