six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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