so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
