I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
