i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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