Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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