it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Randomize
