Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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