you guys were way drunker than both of me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
