my vag is so smooth its legendary
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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