My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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