Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
