Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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