he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
