Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
