Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Panties = found
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
