marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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