the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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