ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
this is an emotional support booty call
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
