we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
