Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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