She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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