I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
