I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize