when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
