Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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