Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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