For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
