Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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