If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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