When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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