Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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