Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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