Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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