he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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