Dual....:-)
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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