How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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