so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize