Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
