Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
