So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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