Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
