didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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