I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am one with the molecules
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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