Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
