I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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