i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think people are normalizing furries
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
