Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
