MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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