I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
