New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
