i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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