one might say we're banned from that church
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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