these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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