Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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