I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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