Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
