People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
