You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
