tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
