I want to walk on stilts...naked
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
